Unlock Norway interviews with Shaman Durek: a conversation about belonging in Norway
When people talk about moving to Norway, they usually focus on the practical things first: ID numbers, winter clothing, rent prices, how Vipps works, and how to get a fastlege. But underneath all of that sits a bigger question that almost everyone confronts at some point: How do I feel at home here?
That question is at the heart of so many conversations we have in the Unlock Norway community. What does belonging look like in a country where social cues are more quiet, where trust is built slowly, and where friendships take time to form? What does it feel like to try to integrate into a culture that values privacy and sameness, while still trying to hold onto who you are?
These are the questions that shaped our recent conversation with Shaman Durek.
“I’ve gained so much more resilience here than I’ve ever had in my life,” he told us. “When I first came here, it was challenging to feel that intensity. But now I’m more grounded in who I am because of it.”
Unlock Norway recently had a chance to sat down with Shaman Durek, the public figure who made (controversial) headlines through his relationship with Princess Märthe Louise of Norway, and his neice Natalia Alava, to talk the everyday side of life here that doesn’t usually make headlines.
Why we wanted to have this conversation
If you live in Norway or follow Norwegian news and media, you likely already know who he is: an American spiritual guide, and the now-husband of Princess Märtha Louise of Norway. His life here has been very public, very talked about, and… very controversial.
But public stories don’t tell us much about what someone’s daily life here is like. And you know us: daily life in Norway is our bread and butter!
So when the chance came up to sit down with him, we weren’t looking to debate anything, defend anything, or create headlines. We simply wanted to ask him the same kinds of questions we ask anyone who has moved to Norway: what surprised you? What has felt difficult or meaningful? What have you learned to love about Norwegian culture?
“The reason I said yes [to this interview] is because of the way you approached me,” he said. “You came to meet a human being, not a headline.”
How the conversation went
We filmed the interview at House21 in Oslo, sitting around a table with Kvikk Lunsj, brunost, Smash, pepperkake with blue cheese, and some cheese in tubes. At one point, we joked: “Shaman Durek likes brown cheese. Someone call the tabloids!”
We talked about:
The strange experience of being recognized in public in a culture that is known for being private
The small challenges and confusions of everyday social interactions (grocery store lines included)
Learning Norwegian slowly, like most of us do
How you figure out when you’re “fitting in” and when you’re just blending in
What it takes to stay yourself in a society with strong social norms
Durek showed us a side that doesn’t usually make news headlines: talking about gingerbread baking with the kids, getting deeply koselig in winter, visiting Oslo’s escape rooms with Märthe Louise, and how much he genuinely loves Norwegian hot dogs: “Hot dogs here are better than in America. Cheese comes out of the hot dog!”
“Do as the Romans do, but don’t lose yourself.”
Sometimes belonging in Norway isn’t about whether people are kind or welcoming (they often are); it’s about how much sameness is expected in order to “fit in.” We reflected together on what it means to live in a country where closeness, trust, and friendship happen more slowly, social norms run deep (and historical), and blending in can sometimes feel easier than standing out.
“Do as the Romans do, but don’t lose yourself,” he said. “There’s a balance between understanding Norwegian culture and remembering who you are.”
This is where the conversation felt the most universal and relatable to our community, because almost everyone we meet through Unlock Norway is holding some of that same tension: How do I become part of this place, without shrinking the parts of myself that brought me here?
Belonging here is rarely instant. It comes from small, repeated acts, like showing up to things, learning the unwritten rules, trying the language even when it feels clumsy, allowing yourself to be seen a little more each month.
And for him, belonging is relational: “I’m here as long as my wife wants to be here,” he said. “Wherever she is, that’s home.”
Which is something many internationals in Norway will recognize: you come for one reason or another, and then you spend years figuring out what it means to stay.
Navigating life in Norway
A lot of figuring out life in Norway happens in small moments like this: coffee on the table, language jokes, and someone convincing you to try shrimp cheese.
People will react to this interview in different ways, and that’s okay
People can have different opinions and still stay in the conversation. Our hope is simply that this interview adds something more human, more grounded, and more everyday; a version of the story we don’t usually get to hear. Because underneath the headlines, controversy, and public attention, there is someone who has had to navigate many of the same things so many of us have: trying to feel at home in Norway. Belonging in Norway looks different for each of us.
Watch the interview:
Watch on YouTube: From Brunost to Belonging: Life in Norway with Shaman Durek
We’ll also share short clips on Instagram and TikTok in the coming days.
Thank you for being here, thank you for being part of the community, and thanks for engaging respectfully with this content!
— Gabriella, Unlock Norway
